Archive for mike

Crickets.

Posted in Par-day Har-day with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 11, 2010 by ali

No homo.

I said it before and I’ll say it again. When the Gaykers lose their overly aggressive fans get real SILENT. I enjoy the silence don’t get me wrong, but I like the sound of the fair-weather fans with no noise coming out of their dropped jaws. As Mike would say, “Sorry son!” Haha…he’ll be pissed I used his quote on his own team. Bad girl. Good game. (Insert ass-slap here.)

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Oh happy day!

Posted in The Answer with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 5, 2010 by ali

Wow, I am a total bitch. Allen Iverson’s wife filed for divorce today. Mike better watch his back. KIDDING!! I know you all want to kick my man while he is down but seriously, just be happy for me that now I won’t be lusting in sin. I’m also going to remind myself here that I need to post some articles that I wrote for this magazine called OCW. Not to be confused with OC Weekly. OCW is a medical marijuana magazine of sorts. Money is money folks. And I don’t have the kind of money that Tawanna Iverson will be getting in her divorce settlement. I know it’s wrong but I can’t stop cheesin’.

I got a shoulder you can cry on...a little lower...a little lower...

Kids these days. Part 1

Posted in Par-day Har-day with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 16, 2010 by ali

A couple of years ago Mike and I went to some celebrity basketball game in L.A. During a time-out I noticed this kid with some pretty sick dance moves. I wasn’t sure about posting this video because I don’t know how I’d feel about someone posting a video of my kid. But with moves like this, his mom should be making money off of him. Especially at the end…I believe the kids (and Britt) would say, LMAO. I can’t believe I just typed that, I feel so ashamed.

Technical difficulties.

Posted in Shitty vs Stellar with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 3, 2010 by ali

YES I am talking to YOU 76ers!!! WTF? As if sitting behind “Heckler McGee” wasn’t bad enough…the 76ers choked like Lamar on his husband Khloe. Yes, Allen brought sexy back (as if it ever left) but then didn’t play the rest of the third and fourth with some knee pain. I wish I could say I caused it. I did however catch a full on view of his upper thigh region in the 3rd…I did mention the awesome seat right? Yeah…that drumstick made the seats behind the 80 year-old a-hole (who thought he was the coach of the Clippers) all worth it. I also happen to be having difficulties with Haven’s camera. Being that I think her camera is better than mine I borrowed hers. Turns out her camera is as shitty as mine. Oh, and her camera cord OF COURSE is not here. So whenever my 14 year old thinks of something other than texting, I will be able to post the crap pictures I took. BOOOOOOOO!!!

Trying not to bite my nails…

Posted in Par-day Har-day with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 31, 2009 by ali

Can you get kicked out for flashing?

Yes it’s true. Thanks to Mike (and to the Jews “killing” Jesus…simmer down, I’m only kidding.) I got 76ers tickets for Christmas. Where are my most amazing tickets to see dreamy Allen Iverson and the rest of my boys take on the lame Clippers? (No offense Ernie.) Four rows behind the 76ers bench!!! What an awesome way to end a very difficult 2009. Should be a good game too since it’s the 6ers (duh) and because last time they played it went into over-time. I’m going to try to sneak down so I can give A.I. a “good game” smack on the ass. Don’t worry; I’ll bring my camera.

I also wanted to mention that the NBA’s new advertising campaign is KICK ASS. I mean, we all know it’s “where amazing happens” but now, it’s also where defense happens. (Unless you are the Sacramento Kings right now getting stomped on by Philly!) I hope there are a lot more commercials to come because it’s also where flying happens, where acting happens, where puberty happens…the possibilities are endless. Call me if you need ideas. I happen to have some free time. Just not tomorrow. 

To each his own.

Posted in Shitty vs Stellar with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 16, 2009 by ali

 This picture looks fine to me...

When I was 5 years old my parents made me go to Sunday school at the Temple. I’m sure it sucked like a church Sunday school; it’s the same thing for all you Christ-e’s. Anyways, our teacher asked us to draw a picture of what we thought God looked like and to draw something “he” created. Being a 5-year-old I drew someone who resembled Ernie (Bert’s lover) next to a wishing well. After the drawings were finished the teacher came around and held up each of our pictures…then ripped them up. One by one she ripped them saying, “That’s not God. God is alllll around you and doesn’t have a face.” Why am I taking you on a walk down eff’ed up childhood lane? Because today I read an article that is as shocking as it is amazing in 2009. An 8-year-old boy was sent home from school after asked to “draw a picture that reminds him of CHRISTmas” because he drew a crucifix. Not just that though, he was told to undergo psychological evaluation. WTF is wrong with people? Who the F says what that vision looks like to you in your mind? Is that not a form of brainwashing?? Oddly enough I was behind some white-trash guy in a pick-up truck with a sticker on the back that said, “There is no Christmas without Christ.” Ironic. Check out the video here… http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34433914/ns/us_news-education/?GT1=43001 un-f-ing believable. I wonder what the school would have done if he had drawn this….

What?? Is it still too soon?

“Michael Vick? That’s my dog!” -Mike

Posted in Shitty vs Stellar with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 9, 2009 by ali

Words from an angel’s mouth aka Mike. Shameful…haha. Well another exciting Sunday filled with football (and Dexter) is behind me…thankfully. (Well, not the Dexter part!) I noticed today that the football hand signal for “false start” is the same as the hand signal for “traveling” in basketball. You’d think that the NFL could come up their own original hand gestures. I don’t blame them I guess…people always want to copy cool things. Not that you care (I do, so suffer through it), but here is what I learned today about, “The Answer is how to look fine at 34 Alex.”

IVERSON GRIZZLIES

I miss you again!!! DAMN YOU IVERSON!!

Head coach Lionel Hollins said Saturday night that Iverson’s departure was “indefinite.” Owner Michael Heisley said Iverson’s absence has nothing to do with his displeasure about his role on the team.
“I’m not going to get into the personal reason but it has nothing to do with the other stuff,” Heisley told the Commercial Appeal, referring to Iverson’s unhappiness over his sixth man role. “I’m the guy who said he could go. It’s a real family issue that I don’t think should be reported.” “I flew out there to try and calm things down,” Heisley said. “I don’t feel good about losing and that there’s a lot going on in the media. But we need Allen. “He has to make some adjustments. This is something we knew we’d have to address. But Allen leaving has nothing to do with a penalty or Allen being (annoyed). There’s no another agenda.” (Source: ESPN/ COMMERCIAL APPEAL)
 

I don’t know what the hell is going on with Iverson but it sounds serious. Just in case it is serious, I would like to pass on the “blessing” that the Mormons offered me in the parking lot today at Ralph’s. Awww, how sweet am I? I sooo deserve to win the lotto now right?