Archive for Gaykers

Crickets.

Posted in Par-day Har-day with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 11, 2010 by ali

No homo.

I said it before and I’ll say it again. When the Gaykers lose their overly aggressive fans get real SILENT. I enjoy the silence don’t get me wrong, but I like the sound of the fair-weather fans with no noise coming out of their dropped jaws. As Mike would say, “Sorry son!” Haha…he’ll be pissed I used his quote on his own team. Bad girl. Good game. (Insert ass-slap here.)

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Posted in Shitty vs Stellar with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 7, 2010 by ali

Yep!! I’m talking to you Gaykers!! I guess Lamar’s cockiness last night was the team’s demise. Cockiness is next to douchiness. Isn’t that how the saying goes? Don’t worry Lamekers you are not alone. One of my all time favorite porky pig’s to “hate on” Mariah Skanky gave an AWESOME drunk ass speech at the Palm Springs International Film Festival (you’re not alone, I’ve never heard of it either). Why was she there? No idea. She sucks. But what doesn’t suck is her speech. In my book (also known as the Torali) it’s the best performance I have ever seen from her. Now let’s all thank the podium for shielding what is hiding behind it…her size 10 body squeezed into a size zero dress.

Fresh from ESPN…WTF?

Posted in The Answer with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 8, 2009 by ali

Allen Iverson was granted permission to leave the Memphis Grizzlies to deal with a personal matter, the Memphis Commercial Appeal reported on Saturday. Iverson had a meeting with Grizzlies owner Michael Heisley Friday night after the team lost 114-98 to the Los Angeles Lakers, the newspaper reported. Iverson met with Heisley again Saturday morning and then left for Atlanta, the Commercial Appeal reported. Iverson lives in Atlanta during the off-season.

What do they mean it’s “not known if he will return?” What the hell? Sooo bummed because I was looking forward to seeing his mug tonight against the Clipps. Thought I’d maybe be talking a little smack with Ernie who is the only Clippers fan I know. Not to mention the A.I. withdrawals I had during the off-season. Of course this will be a perfect time for all of the haters to come out and talk their smack about Allen. That aside (and screw you haters), I really hope that the “personal matter” isn’t that something is wrong with his family except maybe his…haha simmer down, I am only kidding. I’ll be investigating to see if I can find out what really happened to make him leave. Instant Saturday night plans. Shiiiit, I don’t want to sit here and watch the Nugget’s get WAXED for the second night in a row. Again the final score might not stress the beating they are receiving. Who knows at this point? But trust me, it ain’t nothing nice. Double WTF. 

“The first cut is the deepest.” Sheryl Crow

Posted in Shitty vs Stellar with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 7, 2009 by ali

Ahhh Friday, the night of great match-ups. It was/ is such a good basketball night and I can’t think of doing anything else besides sitting on the couch doing what I like to call, “game flipping.” Still to come is A.I. and the lame Grizzlies playing the stupid Gaykers. It should be a beat down but at least there will be something to look at besides unnecessary close-ups of Billy Goat Bryant. Speaking of things that don’t look good…Nuggets, I am talking to you. Bad, bad, bad night boys. Yeah the final score didn’t seem that bad. But the whole game was BAD. Trust me. Damn you Chalmers for making it rain three’s and damn you D. Wade for just being great. Sweet Thuggets, I guess the run had to end sometime and after tonight’s game I think you should just go home and relax. Dim the lights and turn on the tunes. Maybe a little Ice Cube? Might I suggest a song? I’d actually like to dedicate it to Chauncey Billups. “No Vaseline” is going out to you Mr. Big Shot. I mean it seemed to be somewhat of a theme in the game tonight. I’m just here to help.

17 days…

Posted in Par-day Har-day with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 11, 2009 by ali
Screw Football.

Screw Football.

After a LONG day of watching boring ass college football it’s finally time for mofo-ing basketball!! Even if it’s just pre-season count me in. It’s baaaccckkkk. (Poltergeist accent) Tonight on TNT the Suns are hopefully going to bring the “whoop ass” for the Warriors. Although, good job last night Warriors. I see you showed the Gaykers what’s up. Well played. Actually, not you Stephen Jackson, but the rest of you. Tonight the Warriors will be going down like Lamar Scrodum on Andrew Bynum. Coincidently, I would NOT like to watch that love fest. Ever. Just so we’re clear. GO SUNS!

UPDATE: Apparently the Suns left their “whoop ass” supply in Arizona. BOOOOOO!

Hopefully the Nuggets will beat the Pacers this time, they owe them one. They are playing in Beijing and the camera angles are HORRIBLE and every player looks fat like in a funhouse mirror. I wonder why China is full of technical geniuses but they can’t make Chauncey Billups look like he weighs less than 400 pounds. Talk about a wide lens. GO NUGS!!! 

“Laker fans are like Raider fans, ughhh.” Erin

Posted in The Answer with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 5, 2009 by ali

Mickael Pietrus averaged 9.4 points a game for the 2008-09 season. Post season, Mickael Pietrus has scored 10.7 on average. I just wanted to clear up his stats before the Lameker loving “Raider Fans” go crazy and say…maybe Pietrus would have done better if he didn’t switch the shoes!! Shows what you closet queens know. Tonight even though the Magic got bent over (insert Gaykers being gay comment here) Mickael Pietrus scored 14. And do you know who he has to thank? Michael Jordan. The best player…and playa to date.

PS- Thank you ESPN for being my information whore. 

LOOK ALIKE GAYKERS!!!!!

Posted in Shitty vs Stellar with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 27, 2009 by ali

You know I am a big fan of finding look-a-likes and during the game last night…you know, the one where the Nuggets served up the Gaykers worst Playoff loss? Yeah…well I noticed a few on that team and then remembered why the Gaykers are one of the least sexy teams in the NBA. Enjoy.

Vujacic vs Scola and Farmar vs Dumbo

Vujacic vs Scola and Farmar vs Dumbo

Back Door Bryant vs goat, Derrick Fish is just a gay fish, and Shannon Brown vs Chris Brown

Back Door Bryant vs goat, Derek Fisher is a gay fish, and Shannon Brown vs Chris Brown

 

And last but certainly not least, Mr. Arrrggghhhhhhhh himself…

Gasol vs a caveman

Gasol vs a caveman