Archive for Elton Brand

Two for the price of one.

Posted in Shitty vs Stellar with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2010 by ali

Music to a Jew’s ears!! Look, I had a crappy day but then and I came home to check my e-mail and to my surprise, I saw something great. What is this greatness you ask? The 76ers get to select 2nd overall in the 2010 NBA Draft Lottery! Watch out now!! If there is a god I will get another great e-mail saying that Elton “Fat Neck” Brand has been traded. Hey, a girl can dream that this night will end on a good note!

My beautiful friend Kelly sent me some scandalous and riDICulous videos this week-end and I thought, I shouldn’t be the only one with these crazy ass videos stuck in the head. The boys (I pray they are “of age”)  should be ashamed of themselves, respetitively. Especially the skinny humping guys with the “gangsta” names.  Haha, I’m guessing they are gay because I don’t think straight dudes would all get together in one room and do this. In that case…they should switch up their ummm…techniques.

Prepare to be dazzled…especially by grey sweatpants guy in the newest made-up dance. Apparently you have to have a Youtube account to view this repulsive…I mean sexy thrustastic video. This guy breaks it down. I’m backing it up.



Posted in Shitty vs Stellar with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 14, 2009 by ali


Not you 76ers. You sucked tonight. WHOO HOOO to the Nugget’s!! Shit was AMAZING! Really, I must have burned about 1,000 calories during the game. Catch a highlight. When newbie Ty Lawson put it down on Mbenga? Haha…sorry son! And listen here J.R. Smith you delinquent hottie, nobody is going to call you Earl. I am glad you turned over the preverbal “new leaf” while in jail (which is crazy BS) but let’s be honest Earl. It ain’t gonna happen. Although, the 20 points (in 23 minutes) he dropped on the Lamekers made me want to call “Earl” whatever he wants me too. Preferably daddy. The 76ers could take some lessons from the Nuggs. Especially Elton (I can’t stand you) Brand. 11 points? Really? How much are you getting paid? Trust it’s enough to crush the Mormon Jazz and lame ass Boozer. Disgusted yet, elated…I believe they call it “bitter sweet.”

It’s baaaaack!!!!

Posted in Par-day Har-day with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 29, 2009 by ali

I don’t know why I-Tunes is hating…I got Weezer’s album last night (I have my ways) and it KICKS ASS!!!  Unexpected that I like Weezer? Just keeping you on your toes.

FINALLY basketball is back on!!! It feels like it’s been forever! Well, it was on last night (good job Celtics) but tonight is the night where all the REAL studs play. It will be a flip back and forth watching my 76ers, The Nugg’s, and Allen Iverson’s new team the stupid Memphis Grizzlies. Oh you didn’t ask what I’d be watching? Don’t care. I’m telling. It’s so weird looking at the teams with new and missing players. I’ll miss Andre Miller on the 76ers…I bet they will too. And for the record, if Elton Brand injures himself again I swear to god I’m going to turn to a voodoo doll to finish him off. You hear me EB? Speaking of injuries, I can’t wait to see if Iverson will play. If he doesn’t play tonight I don’t want to hear shit. He pulled a hamstring just like your beloved Pau Gas-hole and I didn’t see him playing. Just saying. Either way he will be in the house and I can’t wait to see his fine ass!! WHOO HOO!! Get ready Erin!! Basketball is back and I will be glued to my couch.

Before I go zone out on the best sport EVER, I heard something pretty funny today. I went in the liquor store to redeem my big winnings of $9 and behind me in line were two high school kids. Another guy walked in to the store who knew them and asked, “Hey bro, where ya working? Whatcha been doing?” The other guy goes, “I’m still in school. Didn’t you hear? Nick Davies got me kicked out!” What happened to get this 19-year-old high school student having to repeat 12th grade you ask? Well according to him, “Nick filled up four water bottles with Vodka and they each drank two full bottles and then went to school. We were blitzed!” Apparently this kid Nick can’t hold his liquor and got busted. Since Nick was sooo wasted and didn’t want to take the fall solo, he ratted out his boy and they both failed. Haha. The mother almost took over me because I wanted to shake him!! (I also wanted to smack him but violence isn’t my thing.) How can this douche bag be so f-ing dumb to blame his friend? Sounds like he drank more Vodka before the school day even started then I can handle in a whole evening! And believe me, this gal can handle her booze. Oh, not to mention that he was 18 and wasted. Sorry I just had to share with you a glimpse into the new “adults” of this world. I’ll drink to that. Actually…make mine a double.

Game on! 

A.I. to L.A.?

Posted in Shitty vs Stellar with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on July 15, 2009 by ali
The man, the myth, the Clipper?

The man, the myth, the Clipper?

WHAT??? My boo??? Oh my god, I need to get a Brazilian. I can’t believe Allen “fine as wine” Iverson is in talks with the Clippers!!! Iverson, I missed that word. In my book it goes like this, Iverson comes to the Clips and he’s in it for the money (maybe his last year in the NBA?) with no hopes of winning a ring. Even with all of the 1st round draft pick Blake Griffin and “Big Jowls” Barron hype. Not gonna happen, wouldn’t be prudent. I not so secretly hope Elton Brand picks up a heroin habit and loses his contract and The Answer goes back to the 76ers like it should be. But for now, I secretly hope he comes here and on the off chance that my folks are reading this…season tickets for Hannukah?

I hate to see you go…

Posted in Shitty vs Stellar with tags , , , , , , , , , , on May 1, 2009 by ali
I miss you already. Good game. (insert ass slap here)

I miss you already. Good game. (insert ass slap here)

Well folks, my wonderful 76ers are out. They gave it their all and like my lecturer said today at school, “You have to give the audience something” and something, they gave. I of course blame Elton Brand as always. He’s cancer. And I don’t know if you heard, but I hate cancer. I really thought they’d at least pull off first round.  What ever will I do in my spare time now? Oh yeah, cheer on the Nuggets!! Whoo Hoo!! Dallas you’re going DOWN!! At least I hope so. Nothing like watching Cuban (Mark, not an actual Cuban) go balls out crazy on the sidelines. It’s a sight I love to see.

Sorry for you, good for me because I am off to Viva Las Vegas!! My friend from (old) work is getting married and thankfully…it’s in Vegas! Have a great weekend and GOOOOOO ROCKETS!!