Archive for the WTF? Category

Hahahaha…

Posted in WTF? with tags , , , , , , , , on February 26, 2010 by ali

I am soooo over the Tiger scandal but the lovely group Peta took it to a level I can get behind. Yeah it’s mean, but Peta folks have been known to use quite mean behavior in the past. It’s still ballsy though…and for the record, I’ll enjoy steak until the day I die.

Wow. I can see why “we” are chosen.

Posted in WTF? with tags , , , on November 14, 2009 by ali

Seriously?? All I really want to know is where do they get the “holy water” refills and who pays for those dispensers? That collection plate scam must be really paying off.

 

 

“Burn Hollywood Burn,” Public Enemy.

Posted in WTF? with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 3, 2009 by ali

Speaking of HOT things, when are they going to announce where my imaginary boyfriend Allen Iverson is going?? I am sick of waiting!!! Announce it already NBA!!  I can’t wait for the season to start; I am jonesing like Pookie I swear. Not that trying my best to care about the football game Mike was watching this Sunday wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t. 

So as everyone knows Southern California is on fire, as if the air quality wasn’t bad enough. Yesterday I was watching the news and there were two firefighters on their way to attempt to save a few homes (about ¼ mile away) and this reporter for NBC (channel 4) stopped them to do an interview. Full on fire raging in the background and looking VERY close to three houses, I am so glad they had the time to stop and give an interview complete with shouting out their names. It was shameful for the reporter to even dare stop them to talk in the first place really. Let the men do their job!! I mean, if it was the reporters house about to burn down I’m sure he would have given the firefighters a piggy back ride to get them there faster. Unreal.

Speaking of unreal, but sooo real. I came cross this picture today and I actually think I know the child this was created for. Hey, not MY kid!! How dare you!! It’s a neighbor’s kid and Erin can back me up on this! I swear! It actually looks like the neighbor’s kid (who shall remain nameless), which makes it even funnier at least to me. Is this not a form of kiddie porn?? I guess since we’re in a recession, bitches gotta make money no matter what the age. I’m sure the pervy G.I. Joe doll will be there “making it rain.” I personally wouldn’t buy this for my child because hopefully she’ll stay off the pole and I don’t need to give her any ideas. But, if I find out where they sell this little “Pole Dancer” I might have to pick one up for my friends upcoming b-day. Hey, maybe she too could learn to go “up and down” and “round and round” taught by a juvenile pole dancer. How wrong does that sound? Wow, people are amazing. What’s next? A Kobe “Billy Goat” Bryant raping doll complete with blond girl and extra sides of…umm…lotion-like substances? Haha ok really, I’d TOTALLY buy that. 

  

Do you think this comes with a Ying Yang Twins CD?

Do you think this comes with a Ying Yang Twins CD?

 

 

 

 

English 101.

Posted in WTF? with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 30, 2009 by ali

While I can take criticism pretty well, sometimes you just have to address it when it is really wrong. See, I got some comments from a f-ing idiot named…well we will just call her “Sandra.” Sandra took it upon herself to pretty much try to “tell me off” with her comments on a blog and with it, came some spelling and punctuation that would make my ex-English teacher mom cringe. She commented three times in a row matter of fact. All fired up huh? She just couldn’t get enough of one woman’s opinion I guess. I love that MY opinions make her so angry. I love it seriously. I also love that this chick posted with a fake e-mail address. Believe I did the research. Not valid. Hey Sandy, you can’t be “ballsey” and not have balls. I thought I’d post her comments like she wanted so this mysterious C-word could see her name in lights. Then, we shall never speak of her again and she can take her hate elsewhere. Hopefully, she’ll take her crusade to another Baisden hater. Trust, there are PLENTY! I also took it upon myself to play the role of “my mom” (IN BOLD PRINT) and hooked her up with a little English 101. SUCK IT SANDRA.

 ***From SANDRA***I see that you are an igorant (THAT’S IGNORANT…YOU ARE MAKING IT TOO EASY!!) classless low life female who has to reduce (FORGOT THE D, YOU KNOW, LIKE IN DUMB?) herself to childish name calling.  (IT’S NAME-CALLING AND IT’S MY BLOG. I SAY WHAT I WANT.) I don’t have to change my opinon (OPINION A-HOLE) of your racist behind. (HAHA, RACIST BEHIND. WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF ME? DAMN, YOU MUST BE COUNTRY!) This is a public site and you put it out there and I commented. (WOW, THANKS FOR TEACHING ME HOW BLOGS WORK. I HAD NO CLUE!) I think that you are a racist.  (HAHA…IF ONLY MY BED COULD TALK) Why did you remove my comment.  (FORGOT THE QUESTION MARK. MAYBE IF YOU ASKED ME THE QUESTION IN A PROPER WAY, I WOULD ANSWER IT.) Yes, I am a friend of Michael Baisden (OHHH LOOK AT YOU!!! SPECIAL…ED) and I know for sure that he is not a racist.  (WELL THEN MISS “KNOW’S WHO AND WHO ISN’T RACIST.” MOST OF THE THINGS I HEARD HIM SAY WERE PRETTY MUCH ANTI-WHITE. AT TIMES, ANTI-ASIAN AS WELL AS ANTI-HISPANIC. I HEARD IT WITH MY OWN EARS. I CAN BACK MY SHIT UP.) If he was such a racist, then why would he have a website called “iseecolor” that he created for all races.  (LIKE I SAID OVER AND OVERTHE POINT IS TO NOT SEE COLOR.) You propably (PROPABLY? ISN’T THAT WHAT MJ OVERDOSED ON?) wanted his behind and he didn’t give you a play (DO YOU MEAN ANY PLAY? OR IS HE GIVING OUT PLAYS NOW?) and that’s why you are angry. (OMG, SICK SICK SICK. I’M COOL SANDRA. YOU CAN KEEP YOUR HEAD UP HIS ASS ALL YOU WANT. HE’S ALL YOURS. I THINK I JUST HURLED IN MY MOUTH A LITTLE.) Give it up. (GIVE IT UP? HAHA, HAVEN’T HEARD THAT SINCE THE ARSENIO HALL DAYS!)  I think you just want him. (AGAIN, SICK. LIKE BIRD FLU SICK, HIV SICK.) You just a classless low life (I FEEL “LOW LIFE” IS A CRACK ON MY 5’ 2” HEIGHT AND FOR THAT, SCREW YOU.) miserable lonely women (IT’S WOMAN. I AM ONLY ONE PERSON.) who need (YOU MEAN NEEDS…PLURAL HONEY.) to get a man. (WELL WELL, SINCE YOU ARE SOOO CONCERNED WITH MY LONELINESS I HAVE TO TELL YOU THE “BUBBLE BURSTER.” I HAVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A BEAUTIFUL MAN FOR THE LAST SEVEN YEARS. NO “NEED A MAN” ISSUES HERE!)

***HERE IS ANOTHER E-MAIL I GOT FROM THIS MYSTERY MF-ER THAT IS PRETTY MUCH A CUT/PASTE JOB…SPELLING ERRORS STILL INCLUDED. THANK YOU FOR THAT. REALLY, IT GAVE ME SOMETHING TO DO WITH MY INSOMNIA TONIGHT.

Why do you keep deleting my comment. (YOU FORGOT THE QUESTION MARK) If you are women enough to put the post up why not be women enough to handle the criticism. (AGAIN, QUESTION MARK?) Like I said, I see you are a classless, low life, ignorant female who needs to get into childish name calling. (SEEMS YOU ARE THE NAME-CALLER BUT, OK) This a public website, (I’M CERTAIN YOU MEANT, THIS IS A PUBLIC WEBSITE.) if you put a blog out there then you should expect that people are going to disagree with you. (BACK AT CHA) You are entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to mine. (ABSOLUTELY, AND YOU SHOULD ALSO GIVE A VALID E-MAIL SO YOU CAN GET THE REPLIES I SENT YOU ABOUT HOW MUCH I COULD CARE LESS WHAT YOU THINK. WE COULD HAVE AVOIDED THIS WHOLE POST!) I don’t have to dislike Michael Baisden because you do. (DUH! I DON’T REMEMBER SAYING YOU HAD TO AGREE WITH ME. NO GUN TO YOUR HEAD YA KNOW?) I disagree with you, If (NO CAPITAL NECESSARY ON THE WORD IF) Michael was such a racist then why would he have a website called “iseecolor” for all racist. (AGAIN, DON’T SEE COLOR. DON’T DO IT! WAIT, FOR ALL RACISTS? EXTRA EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT. SANDRA SAYS GO TO THAT WEBSITE; IT’S FOR ALL RACISTS!!) To me you sound like a racist, angry and bitter women who needs a man. (WE COVERED MY LACK OF LONELY.) You are calling me challenged and you mispelled (THAT WOULD BE MISSPELLED HAHA) yourself. (I CAN’T BE SURE BUT I ASSUME SHE IS REFERRING TO ME MISSPELLING MICHAEL BASIDEN’S LAST NAME. IF SO, I JUST DID ON PURPOSE AGAIN BECAUSE I COULD CARE LESS TO SPELL CHECK IT. DEAL WITH IT.) You understood what I meant, (YOUR MISSING A SEMI COLON, THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS ; IN CASE YOU’RE WONDERING.) this is a blog site, not a business letter or a school paper. (NO SHIT!! I WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO CUSS LIKE THIS IN SCHOOL WHILE WRITING A PAPER NOR WAS I ALLOWED TO USE THIS LANGUAGE IN A BUSINESS LETTER. NOTHING GET’S BY YOU HUH?)

Why do you put blogs abou (FORGOT THE T) your boys (UMM…MY BOYS? ARE YOU REFERRING TO WHITE BOYS? WHO THE EFF IS RACIST NOW? WOW.) white racist like Bill O’Rielly, (IT’S O’REILLY) Hannity, (NOT FAMILIAR W/ HANNITY, NO COMMENT) Rush Lumburh (HAHA HIS NAME IS LIMBAUGH) and other racist (FORGOT THE S) on television and radio. (WAIT WAS THAT A QUESTION? I DIDN’T SEE A QUESTION MARK SO I GUESS NOT.) YOu (I NEED NOT TELL YOU TO CHECK YOUR CAPITALS DO I?) are a bitter, angry, no class, racist.  (AGAIN WITH THE RACIST COMMENTS. I AM CERTAIN IF YOU TOOK THE TIME TO READ THE REST OF MY BLOG YOU WOULD KNOW I RARELY HATE ON THE BLACK MALE.)

 OUCH!! IT REALLY HURTS ME SANDRA. AS IF. MOSTLY,  I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR OBVIOUSLY SENDING MY LINK TO YOUR FRIENDS (I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE CLIENTELE YOU RUN WITH) SO THEY TOO COULD CHECK OUT A QUICK BLOG I WROTE OVER A WEEK AGO. OLD NEWS OLD BAG. IT JUST DRIVES UP MY VISITORS AND MAKES ME LOOK MORE POPULAR. OH, AND I DELETED YOUR COMMENTS BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO FEEL TOO STUPID ABOUT BEING A GROWN ASS “WOMAN” WHO’S GRAMMAR IS WORSE THAN MY 14 YEAR OLDS. MY ADVICE? TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT HOW SOME “WHITE GIRL” IS TALKING SHIT ON A “BELOVED” FRIEND OF YOURS. HOW DARE I HAVE AN OPINION? REALLY, I COULD USE THE “HITS” ON MY BLOG SITE. MOZEL TOV.

 PS-  IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU MIGHT BE THE ONE ALL ON MB’S NUTS.  JUST MY OPINION. OH SPEAKING OF, I HAVE NO PROBLEM BEING 5’ 2” AND “TELLING YOU THAT YOU’RE A BITCH TO YOUR FACE” LIKE YOU SAID IN ONE OF YOUR COMMENTS. WHO SAYS THAT AFTER YOU GET OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL? HAHA, REALLY CLASSY SANDY.

WTF is wrong with people?

Posted in WTF? with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2009 by ali

First of all, the Grammy’s are lame. Neil Diamond killed it though. Haha…ok, and M.I.A. completely knocked up with practically a baby arm hanging out, it was pretty awesome too. It’s funny because I hear Chris Brown beat up a chick and he’s on the lamb from the cops aka “one time.” Coincidently, Rhiforeheada is the chick he pimp slapped. My guess is she heard about her Boo with some skank on tour. And we all know what that means. (Insert porn music here.) I can’t wait to see how it plays out. I am sooo mature. Secondly, basketball sucked to the capital S today. I’m sure you know why so I’ll spare you the details. Ughh. So while hating on colors that do NOT match, I came across an interesting and sick article. I mentioned the story before about “Little Caylee Anthony”, as Nancy Grace (hi friend) would say, and how her mother Casey is a delusional bitch who killed her. Well in typical capitalizing fashion, a CHRISTian no less, decided to make an “inspirational” doll dedicated to Caylee Anthony. (R.I.P.) The a-hole made a doll (that looks nothing like her) called “The Inspirational Caylee Sunshine Doll.” What a dumb-F. And the most twisted part? As if making a doll for a dead 2-year-old baby wasn’t bad enough you say? Well this bastard tried to “pull an Angelina” and donate proceeds to charity. Why is this bad you ask? Because this piece of shit is donating $3 of a $30 doll to charity. That’s why. He’s a dick and he’s trying to make money off of a baby that was left in a trunk with heart shaped piece of duct tape over her mouth. EFF YOU! Oh wait…he takes one more sick turn on the road to Satan. This doll also sings, “you are my sunshine” just like the video of Caylee that they played over and over and over and you get the point, on Nancy Grace. Double EFF YOU!! Luckily thanks to intelligent advice of the general public, the sales have been immediately suspended. Of course that’s not stopping this shit for brains from selling t-shirts and bracelet’s. The asshole’s name you ask? Jaime Salcedo. I am only giving this F-wad a shout-out because I think you should all put him in your bad thought prayer chain. Amen.

FYI- If you need to see this display of filth better you can click on the image to view it bigger. Back to hating on Jaime “Burn in Hell” Salcedo…

Kimora and her neck rolls…

Posted in WTF? with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 7, 2009 by ali

Who the Eff could have called it?? Kimora Lee-Simmons-Amastad is an inspiration. Haha…it just sounds funny. Flabulous necked Kimora. Wow. This world is f-ed up. How did I come to this realization? I’ll break it down for you. It is 3 am (Roc) and I am wide awake thanks to you, Coca-Cola (not Co-ki-ine with a Scarface accent). Damn you. So anyways, nothing is on TV and while Mike snores on the couch, I am sitting here at the computer listing to Brian McKnight (Phucket List). With nothing but important thoughts on the mind…I was thinking of how Kimora Lee-Simmons-Amastad is preggers and how she is probably BLOWING THE EFF UP and I had to google it. A funny thing happened on the way to googling “Kimora pregnant.” This link came up for a website for what seems to be underage KIDS having babies. WTF is wrong with non-creative people who are grown enough to have kids but not grown come up with original names?? I mean…I was 20 when I pushed the kid out and I didn’t name my kid after someone who has more rolls on her neck then a French bakery so I am allowed to judge. This is crazy too because all of her friends are underage and prego pals as well…hence the website for underage pregnant folks. You paying attention? Yikes. AND YES A-HOLES….I looked for my kid on the website. Phewwww. Back to 17-year-old “mommy to be” who is naming her daughter Kimora. She better hope her little one’s neck genes are better than Lee-Simmons-Amastad. But don’t fret, lucky for this young mama, she is all into Jesus H. CHRISTmas so this bizznatch better pray…. she doesn’t have eight kids. Hells no. I know you are all dying to see Kimora’s neck rolls at this point so I won’t delay. I’ll spare you the pictures of the kiddie porn having kiddies. You’re welcome.

Neck Botox?? YES BITCH!!!!

Neck Botox?? YES BITCH!!!!

The Baconator

Posted in WTF? with tags , , , , , , , on November 23, 2008 by ali

Yesterday around 4ish the magazine called me for a last minute writing gig. I am not one to pass up a live show even though I had already had plans to party for the mags 2nd anniversary party at lame ass Sutra. Where did they send me? Oh you won’t believe this one. The Bacon Brothers. Yes, as in Kevin Bacon and his older brother. Of course I called my dad because I was certain he’d know what I was talking about. Yep, he was impressed. That led me to believe the crowd at a Bacon Brothers show must be mom and dad-like. Oh damn was I right. The cougars were in full effect and the people watching was at an all time high. Luckily I was standing next to the youngest people in the room who also liked to compare people to celebrity look-alikes. Never knew how popular that was huh?? Jump on board, it’s fun. In all, The Bacon Brothers are sooo not for me. The Coach House was interesting (I’ve never been there) but the parking situation was shit. I seriously parked a block and a half away. By the time I got to my car I was pretty much over going to Sutra, god I hate that place. Plus it was like 11:30 and a drive to Costa Mesa seemed like torture. Thank you “Jack in the Box” for making the best eggrolls in the world. I know they are so bad for me but good lord, they are perfection after 11.  The mistake was the soda I got with it. I was up until at least 4 am. Damn you Coke for being so good. Not cokieene (Scarface accent) but Coca-cola. Listen, that was a long time ago.

I need to just add something, we can call it a side note or whatever, but it needs to be addressed. Snoop D-O-double G has a reality show (that sucks) on E! called “Snoop Dogg’s Fatherhood.” Did I mention this is the most stupid show? Reality TV is really getting out of hand. Not the Housewives though…that is just fine. So let me tell you why I am giving Snoop any of my brain time at all. The show has a theme song and right now they are promoting the upcoming season of this shitty show. The theme song is bad. Excuse me, BADD. So now they have four different versions of the theme pretty much playing on repeat on the E! channel. One is sung by Bootsie “He’s still alive?”Collins, one by some dude from Korn, one by Estelle and one by fellow pot head Willie Nelson. In all the song is lame but there is one line that gets me every time. The line goes, “They call her “Choc” cuz she calls the shots.” When they say “Choc” they are referring to Snoops daughter who is dark…Wesley Snipes dark. I am guessing that is why they REALLY call her Choc. Maybe just maybe…we want some truth here Snoop. Well I got a little truth for you even though you are bull shitting us. You are soooo overrated. Please wait a year or 15 to put out another album and stay off the hooks. Oh and another thing Snoop. You are NOT a singer. I hate when rappers sing when they can’t. Case in point Kanye. STOP SINGING. Ok, I got off track. I just want you all to tune into the E! channel to see this horrific commercial and see the lies for yourself. Then turn it because no good can come of that.