Archive for May, 2009

Ummm….GO CAVS??

Posted in Shitty vs Stellar with tags , , , , , , on May 30, 2009 by ali

I miss you sexy Nuggets already. Oh and Billy Goat Bryant? That “head nuzzle” thing you were doing in towards the end of the 4th? Very gay.




You sexy mother thugga’s

Posted in The Answer with tags , , , on May 30, 2009 by ali


I know the odds are stacked but you can do this!!! Oh, and happy birthday Carmelo!


Posted in Shitty vs Stellar with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 29, 2009 by ali

 Listen Cavs, you gave me quite a scare!! Thank you for winning, I can only hope the Nuggets follow suit tomorrow night and whoop some ass on the Lamekers! It pretty much just hit me that school is ending in a few weeks and I have MAJOR stuff due. I guess what I am saying is excuse me if I am absent in general. A girl needs to get her study on ya know? Coincidently, I was driving to school today and I got to thinking after my morning “cut-off” by some a-hole driver, there are a few things I’d like to NEVER happen again. I thought I’d bounce the top five that crossed my mind (just today I might add) off you just for shits and giggles….

NEVER brake when you are going through a green light. You d-bags! Let’s go over this one more time since apparently Stevie Wonder taught you how to drive. Green= pedal on the right. Seriously, I want to run right into the back of your car. Oh, and since you are on the phone, you won’t even notice me creeping. I swear I will. I’m a rebel in case you didn’t know. I still don’t own a hands-free. Suck on that!

NEVER want Mariah Scary to pro-create. Enough said.

NEVER want to hear the song “Return of the Mack” by Mark Morrison. You sing creepy Mark. Really, it’s weird so just stop. While we are on the subject, let’s add “Too Close” by Next and “Sexual Eruption” by Snoop. Both songs are seriously sick. Next, you’re so nasty “you’re making it hard for me,” just makes me want to hurl. Snoop. Ahhh Snoop. You are gross. No one wants to think or hear about you erupting sexually. Forget wanting to hurl…think actually hurling. NO THANK YOU!!

NEVER want to hear Binnece sing again. Save it for your kids. On a side note, I can’t wait to see her blow up just like her mama when Jay-Z aka J. Hova, aka the original “Mr. Carter” knocks her up!

NEVER talk about religion with me unless you plan on being offended. Hey, you’ve been warned.

*BONUS* NEVER think that people are going to drive differently because you have a “baby on board” window thingy. NO ONE CARES. I am pretty sure it doesn’t matter if you have the freaking Pope in your car! NEWS FLASH!!! No one is adjusting their driving for the baby that only YOU think is cute.

Double phhhheeeww!! I feel like a lot better now that out of my system. Agree or disagree it doesn’t really matter for the record. I said they are things I never want to happen. OK, time to get lost in the world of “inventing my own radio station.” Down boy, it sounds a lot more fun than it is. 


Posted in Shitty vs Stellar with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 27, 2009 by ali

You know I am a big fan of finding look-a-likes and during the game last night…you know, the one where the Nuggets served up the Gaykers worst Playoff loss? Yeah…well I noticed a few on that team and then remembered why the Gaykers are one of the least sexy teams in the NBA. Enjoy.

Vujacic vs Scola and Farmar vs Dumbo

Vujacic vs Scola and Farmar vs Dumbo

Back Door Bryant vs goat, Derrick Fish is just a gay fish, and Shannon Brown vs Chris Brown

Back Door Bryant vs goat, Derek Fisher is a gay fish, and Shannon Brown vs Chris Brown


And last but certainly not least, Mr. Arrrggghhhhhhhh himself…

Gasol vs a caveman

Gasol vs a caveman

I have so much more to post BUT…..

Posted in Par-day Har-day with tags , , , , , , , on May 26, 2009 by ali
Things are looking up!! GO NUGGETS!!!!

Things are looking up!! GO NUGGETS!!!!

I am too tired tonight. I really wore myself out cheering in that stellar game while Mike sat cheering on the Gaykers. For no reason I might add. WAY TO GO NUGGS!!! I’ll update tomorrow and rest assured knowing I have something special for you on the next post. I’ve been doing a little research and I promise you won’t be disappointed. Here is a hint, look-a-like central. How can you miss that?

Overkill and Overkill

Posted in Shitty vs Stellar with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 25, 2009 by ali

Sorry, life caught me up for a second so I haven’t updated. Life of course being “code word” for my kiddo, school and that little sport I LOVE. Not that I want to update about the stupid game last night so I’ll just be looking forward to Monday. I did however take a tally (one of my favorite things to do) on how many unnecessary close-ups they showed on Billy Goat Bryant for no f-ing reason at all. I mean, someone else is at the free throw, there he is. Someone gets injured. There he is. Even when he’s on the bench, there is the camera all up in his gross nostrils. The final tally by the end of that game I’d like to kick Chauncey in the nuts for? 36 times. The only good part of the game as far as I’m concerned came at 4:46 left in the 3rd when the announcer said, “Bryant goes back door.” HAHA, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

I also had to go to the ever-classy Coach House to write up a concert review for the magazine. It was Colin Hay who used to front the band Men at Work. I dug out my old vinyl of “Cargo” and took it to have him sign. Mission accomplished.  If you ever get a chance to see this guy I suggest you do it. He only ended up singing a few songs and the rest of the time he was like a comedy show. Super funny…and says the “F” word a lot which is a big plus in my book. Mike took a picture of us with my phone and as usual…Mike ain’t no photographer. I then in turn had technical difficulty getting the picture off of my phone so here is my solution… 

Yes, left hand on ass. I don't discriminate.

Yes, left hand on ass. I don't discriminate.

“Aw yeah aw yeah, bust it!” Salt-n-Pepa

Posted in Par-day Har-day with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 22, 2009 by ali
SUCK IT GAYKERS!!! Oh guy's like that...

SUCK IT GAYKERS!!! Oh guy's like that...

Winner winner chicken nuggets dinner!!! That is what I am talking about Nuggs!!! WHOOOO!!!! I think I burned about 1,723 calories during the 4th quarter alone!! And again I ponder, why does my phone BLOWS THE EFF UP when the Gaykers win yet it’s like I don’t exist when they lose? It’s wild. The shit talking is on full blast until the moment Billy Goat “can I get one more eff-ing camera close up” Back Door Bryant doesn’t “come through” for his team and they lose. NEWS FLASH!!! It’s a TEAM sport…and the better TEAM won tonight. See you in Denver. RAPIST! RAPIST! RAPIST!