Lagging in the sense that I have been busy yes, but mostly too lazy. My bad. I’ll just jump right into it. Last night’s Roast of “Larry the Cable Guy” was hysterical!! I hope you saw it or DVR’d it because Lisa was classic but, there were a few more surprises along the way. On the panel of roasters was some football guy…just kidding, it was Warren Sapp. I only know this guy because I had the displeasure of catching Dancing with the “Stars” last season and had to watch him do the rumba. Warren was pretty funny and I got to thinking he is a pretty witty guy. It’s fun to see when people you least expect make you laugh. Gary Busey was also a roaster and damn, he was pretty good…I was nervous for him because he turned into such a nut-job but it turned out funny as hell. Marcia Brady was on the panel too and she was also funny!! WTF? How are all of these peeps so amusing? Ok, I am a dipshit. I am watching the credits start rolling and I don’t know why but…there was a LONG list of writers. WHY did I ever believe these people could actually be funny and write their own stuff? At least the really good roasters wrote their own stuff. Right?? Disappointed a little I got to thinking; maybe I could aspire to be one of these writers? I could be part of the magic that is “roasting!” I mean…I am pretty good at shit talking.
The other day I went to Little Caesar’s aka Lil’ Sleezers for a $5 pizza after I picked up Haven from softball practice. We are walking into the back door and the outside floodlight is on. I don’t know about your house but when my floodlight is on, the moths get their nightly meetings on around mine. Sick. This night in particular, there is a full on Silence of the Lambs moth kicking it by my light. It was HUGE! So we are moving as steady as we can and my hands are pretty full with 2 bags, my purse, a pizza and I am trying to unlock a door. You almost feel like your there huh? BAM!!! The moth takes flight right straight to the left side of my neck and starting fluttering on my neck and hair getting his molest on. I of course kept my cool…as if…I starting screaming and threw EVERYTHING across the back and started swatting at my neck. Hahaha…the look on Haven’s face was priceless. Luckily the pizza landed the right side up and the moth landed back on the wall. Sorry if you are a moth lover…matter of fact, you might want to stop reading now animal lovers of the world. What I am about to tell you and show you is pretty graphic. I grabbed my shoe and nailed that bitch. Let that be a lesson bugs of the world. The only bugs allowed on my neck have two g’s if you catch what I’m throwing. I figured no one would believe me when I said it was sooo big so I took it upon myself to take a picture. I put a pop-top next to it to remind you to save yours and because then you can see how big this thing really was. R.I.P. you nasty ass moth. I don’t know what you ate before you died but I hope it doesn’t stain my cement.
DISCLAIMER: Not for the weak of stomach. Seriously, this bugs ass EXPLODED!!

"Don't come around here no more..." Tom Petty