Helen f-ing Keller

What you probably don’t know is my bio-grandma (R.I.P.) was REALLY hard of hearing. I mean, two hearing aides folks. I can still hear her now, “Ehhhhh???” (New York accent) My other bio-grandma is going deaf as we speak. Let me give you an impression so she is not left out, “Whaaaat darrrling?” (Jewish grandma from east coast accent) I am telling you this because my sickness I STILL f-ing have has come along with some hearing loss of my own. At this point, my right ear is hearing at about 40%. I mean, I’m not really listening anyways but damn! I guess I am also feeling pretty bad because of all the times we used to say stuff to my poor grandma because we knew she couldn’t hear us. Lucky for me, I still have my left ear…for now. Seems I am destine to be a deaf bitch thanks to heredity. I hope this isn’t window into the future although it looks pretty hazy from here. Thanks genes.

I also wanted to mention J.R. Smith Boo from the sexy Denver Nuggets because he has started his 90-day jail sentence for causing an auto accident that killed his friend. J.R. you are fine as wine, PLEASE don’t drop the soap. I believe Dave Chappelle aka Tron said it best, “Nighty night, keep your butt hole tight!”

One last thing I need to get off of my chest. TV, and I mean all TV PLEASE stop exploiting Michael Jackson’s death!!! Jesus H. Christ! Enough about MJ dying and his will, and his kids, and his slimy bastard father who is out smoking cigars at the BET awards with King A-hole Al Sharpton, and MJ’s final resting place, and MJ’s greatest hits, MJ’s doctors, MJ’s final pictures…STOP!!!! As big of a MJ fan as I was and will always be the TV is ruining it for me. For eff’s sake, it is ridiculous considering there is an e-coli outbreak and an economic crisis, a f-ing war, not to mention Kevin Jonas got engaged.