Mama likey…and don’t likey.

WU TANG CLAN AIN’T NOTHIN’ TO F%*K WIT!! Haha, j/k. So last’s night’s show was awe-to-the-some as usual. Method Man looked fine as wine and Redman always keeps it fly. I live for their “east coast flava.” I think there was about four different fights…one a girl fight I especially loved. Overly drunk was the mood of pretty much everyone BUT Sharon and I. Takes me back to the time we saw them at the same venue and I could barely walk out of there. Ahh, the old days. Last night I was trying to keep it mellow as possible with a couple light beers aka “bitch beers.” The whole place was like a big ass smoke cloud as you can imagine. I’m just going to put it out there, weed smells good. Smells better than sweat and booze that’s for sure. We got up there early and I was stoked because we stopped by my favorite place on Fairfax, Canter’s. If you don’t know Canter’s is pretty much a staple for the Jews of Hollywood/LA. Don’t worry, everyone is welcome. I suggest the potato pancakes and yes DT, kugel is on the menu.

So I’m having the usual sleep issues and I figured instead of finding another CD to review (stupid Bineece’s album was taken), I’d start a new sort of ongoing list. A favorites and peeves if you will. If you won’t, suck it. I can’t list all the good’s and bad’s because I don’t have all night…wait…I have no job so technically I can. Anyways, back to the first-class and no-class. I for one, love to hear what other people peev’s are as it gives you a sort of insight into what pisses people off. Hint hint. And my favorite things? Oh what the hell. I don’t you don’t give a shit but I am awake and it’s on my mind so humor me.

Ohhhh snap! Just when you thought this was going to be lame, I’m going to bring the f-u-n kids! Try to figure out if I like it or not! These are in no particular order…just take note. And yes, you can make this into a drinking game.

*People who leave their blinker on when driving. What the hell is wrong with you? Turn the radio down and listen. That tick, tick, tick, tick sound is your f-ing blinker. TURN IT OFF!! I’ve been trying to let you get over for a mile now. This is the shit that makes me stop being a courteous driver and turn into Danica Patrick.

*Stats during basketball. First of all, I hope in my next life I come back as a man. Let me rephrase, a gay man. But a basketball loving gay man who has a manly voice and knows his basketball stats. (Not too much to ask huh?) Now, we all know watching the game of basketball in person is magnificent for many reasons but if you don’t have the money for an overpriced ticket, then the next best thing comes in the form of a commentator. I am not really sure how they get so many damn stats of how they belt them out so fast when a player makes a bucket, and I don’t really care. The stats are kick ass. I always sit (or run around) during the games and wonder something and…BAM!! Stat guy to the rescue. It’s like they are in my brain and here to help.

*Kimora Lee Simmons neck. Listen you fabulous bitch. I know you have mirrors. I know you have plenty of paid people surrounding you. But have you no real friends? Let me be that friend to you Kimora and tell you. Ok, so as your new BFF I must first say, you need to get a handle on those neck rolls. Your neck looks like the Michelin man’s upper thigh. What kind of example are you setting for your children? Do you really want those two little sweeties growing up thinking plastic surgery is ok…just not in the neck region? Tisk tisk. Time to change your catch-phrase to Flabulous.

*Wendy’s new slogan. Whoever took over for Dave should be ashamed. “It’s waaaay better than fast food.” What the eff are you talking about? It is f-ing fast food. You dumb asses need to fire your marketing dream team and change your slogan to something that makes sense because I can sure as hell tell you something. When it is late night and I am wanting that 4th meal…I’ll remember to NOT hit up Wendy’s. Because Wendy’s is “waaaay better than fast food.” How lame…there is nothing waaaay better than fast food. Idiots.

*Chocolate News. I know I mentioned it before but seriously, what a comeback. David Allen Grier is f-ing hysterical. Chocolate News comes on Wednesday nights on Comedy Central and you really have no excuse to miss it since I just told you it’s “f-ing hysterical.” It’s even thoughtful enough to come on after any basketball game no matter coast you’re on. TiVo it for god sake. Damn, that was like free advertisement…your welcome DAG.

 

You know what…that was fun but I am thinking its 1:44 am and my back is throbbing. Sitting at a desk all day sure ain’t for me. Time to get in bed, watch The Nanny and pray for sleep. I can’t wait to see who wakes me up first with a phone call. *SIDE NOTE* Since the day I was laid off I have been woken (is woken a word?) up by the phone every single effing day. Oh damn, I’ll list that one later. Try to guess if that’s “dope or “wack.” I’ll keep a running list and add to it later. Good night John-boy.