Brazilian Girls? Really?
Ok what the F? I have this amazing freelance writing job for a magazine. Actually, it’s two magazines…but it’s sorta the same. Just geared towards a different city. Ya dig? The best part about this side gig of mine is the experience (Duh) and the subtle rewards I get to reap from it. They ask me to do the most random editorials. Seriously, this year I have written everything from a bowling alleys grand opening to a yarn store. I challenge you to write 1,000 words on a yarn store people. Needless to say, it has really stretched my imagination and improved my mental list of adjectives. You really need to get in-depth with your inner bullshit when you HAVE to say something nice about a concert or a restaurant, or a DVD, or a concert….or a concert because they are paying for ad space. So goes the biz I guess. You not catching what I am throwing? Let me use tonight as an example. Tonight I went to the Grove of Anaheim. The mag has tickets for me to see Brazilian Girls. I said Brazilian Girls. Yeah, I don’t know who they are either. I Googled them and of course to be kitschy, Brazilian Girls are made up of one woman and three men. When they took the stage tonight, I realized that Google must have had it all wrong. That is because; the lead singer of the Brazilian Girls is preggers. I’m talking full on basketball smuggling. And you know how pregnant women (not pregnant men, studies show of course) have some sort of magnetic attraction with their hands and their bellies? Well there was no exception to the rule tonight. Sabina is the lead singers name and as she wailed out in this Enya-esque style, “INTERNASSSSEEEENOOOOOL (Translation: International) BEEEBBBBEEEEEE” (Translation: Baby) she rubbed her scantily covered international bun in her preverbal oven. It was awkward to say the least watching her rub the Buddha while she crooned LAZY LOVER. Yikes. That ain’t a very good business card for her baby daddy. Holy shit, she did this whole whistling segment also into the mic. Haha, I just thought of that, sorry. I forgot to mention it had two opening acts. “DJ/Beatmaker” called Free the Robots from Santa Ana that was horrific to say the least. Robots is plural just so you know and just to keep up with the kitsch, this is of course a one-man band. Seriously, I feel bad to say it because the Robot really was feeling the music. However, he was the only one. Pheww, ending an already long day that included WAY too much caffeine for human consumption, I was lucky enough to see something new, experience something different, and get paid and you know that I know it’s all about gettin’ that cheddar. I’m not really complaining deep down I guess. I also have the feeling you may think I am being overly dramatic about my wonderful evening in Anaheim amongst a crowd of maybe 150 complete “I do care, but I don’t care because I’m in Jr. College” sprinkled with a few older pervy looking folks. Just so you can stop passing judgment of what I truly had to endure in order to pursue my dream of writing for XXL magazine and one day interviewing DJ Quik and making out…here is a visual illustration. Wow…it’s like your there with me.
Free The Robots…courtesy of myspace of course. I won’t put you through the audio, you’re welcome. Here is a picture though so you know what I was looking at.
The other opening band I don’t really care to talk too much about because I hate it when people make excuses when I don’t know any better. The singer says…in her best cutesy baby voice….”Boo hoo I am sick so pardon my throat and voice!” Ummm…who the hell are The Submarines anyways and how would I know your voice is jacked? Maybe it’s just me. I mean, they are going on tour with Amiee Mann. Riiiight. Who?? Whateves, here is a picture of them.
And the moment you’ve been waiting for. Brazilian Girls. Haha, sorry. But they sucked. I know I am only one person and one opinion doesn’t really matter…or mine for that matter. Form your own. They have three albums (I think) so folks must dig em’. Must be why The Grove, which probably holds over a thousand people, had like 150 tonight. This clip isn’t from tonight obviously, and THANK GOD tonight she was clothed in the finest maternity wear from Babies-mamas-R-”you know what’s” rather then what she is rocking in this video. I sense you’ll be “picking up everything I’m throwing down” after you see it. Yes, this is real.
